This is My Apology

I hate you.

I hate you for loving me so much that regardless of the many times I pushed you away, you’re still there.

I hate you for the times you followed me secretly to make sure that I’m okay, that I’m not getting drunk, because we both were hurting.

I hate you for making me experience doubts because you are imperfect, and I knew to myself how difficult it is to love me.

But then I understand now and four years are enough for me to write an apology

I’m sorry for making it difficult for you to love me when I said loving is simple

I’m sorry for making it even more complicated when you showed me that it can be simple

I’m sorry because there were times that I didn’t believe in you, in us

I’m sorry I looked for love elsewhere and sought other things, put you last…

and even now, I am not sure I will be your best future wife, even if you told me that.

Maybe, as my good friend said in her wedding vow, this is grace, God’s grace, and when it’s from God, it hits you right in the major artery, you can’t seem to say no to such a wonderful kind of love

I’m sorry…

I’m sorry for not seeing grace in you, for not considering you a blessing, for asking so much more, for not being content

I’m sorry but I promiseΒ to love you now, more, even better than tomorrow… πŸ™‚

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “This is My Apology

  1. A very true sweet apology!! πŸ™‚
    Your best future wife!! I say that a lot to my love as well πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Guess we are all lucky to find someone who hold on even when we push them away πŸ™‚

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