One Day on the Beach

One day, we’ll meet again

On the white, tongue-shaped bar of Sagay City

We’ll hold our hands as we stroll the shores

and look down as our footprints are left on the sand

We’ll kick off our flipflops off and run

wear our goggles together and dive into the water

and search for the glowing green fish

We’ll love again like yesterday,

laugh for the mistakes that we’ll get over tomorrow

build our castle and jump to the future

but for now, let’s build sand castles on this Beach.

❤

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The Daily Post: Tricky

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Note: this post is one day late

While I was halfway through a paragraph on the page of EPL, (eat, pray, love) something was nudging me to stop reading and to grab my phone and start writing. Summer is soon over for me as I won’t have much free time (or let me say freedom) soon. I feel inspired by EPL (created that acronym for Eat, Pray, Love which I am reading now) to resume writing. I’ve been following WordPress for Writing101 but I guess there won’t be a writing course for this summer. I did participate in The Daily Post where a daily prompt is given and having participated, I’m supposed to write everyday using the word promt. These past few days, though, I haven’t had the motivation to write and gratefully, the mood has stricken today. 🙂 I love these moments!

Today’s prompt: tricky

Life gets trickier the more you grow up. Just like Elizabeth in EPL, she’s already in an after-divorce phase and her looking back makes me feel that I might be in her shoes one day. Hopefully, not.

During the holy week, my sister and I, with two close guy friends, went to Nagsasa cove for some peace and quiet. We didn’t exactly get that because it was a camp type of vacation, but it was great! It was a test of character, a situation we all consented to but did not prepare for. I was going through a break up and the cooking and preparation of the meals with my sister and friends made me forget that I was.

I went to Manila hoping all the activities and laughter would wash away any doubt and pain. At ten o’clock, after everyone has eaten dinner and the other campers were gathered around their bonfire, I went to the beach and sat on the shore, thought about things that were bothering me, and somehow, after shedding some tears, I felt better. I wanted to toss everything into the ocean but it kept on returning my thoughts and feelings to me saying “I’ll lessen your burden now but you should know I have to give these back to you. You  should face them and deal with them.” Somehow, just being by the ocean made me feel I wasn’t alone in what I’m facing and with fingers-crossed, I was also hoping to find some tiny bit of answers. Was I really going to call it four years of pretense and give up now?

It’s tricky. It’s tricky to even tell myself that I can still do this, that this is still workable, but in my heart, I knew I wouldn’t feel this burden if I knew my relationship isn’t workable anymore. I wouldn’t have any second thoughts and simply accept the fact that it’s over. I wanted this, now I was the one having doubts. There was something anchoring me to give my relationship a chance.

A chance for friendship, a chance for growth, a chance for realizations and to be better. I know my heart is screaming to not just throw the four years away. I told myself that my story isn’t going to be ordinary, that although it is challenging to see a ready-made, customized, hand-made future with him, I’m going to give him a chance because I don’t think there’s ever going to be a man who can take his place, for now, or so I think.

Well, people get tired, and when you’re again, at the point of having to start all over again, just thinking about it is already exhausting. It’s like having to restart a 5-hour hike to Mt. Ulap (a mountain my sister and I climbed in Benguet) and you’re already nearing the summit. What we went through wasn’t a joke. Those years were composed of fights, some insults from relatives, from myself to him, from my self to my own self, stolen trips, last minute preparation of gifts, letters, drama and my efforts to try and change my impatient attitude. It’s tricky when you’re already at the point of choosing to be single again and to meet awesome, single men, a chance to find a Mr. Perfect, the best human being in the world or to hang on to something which used to shine, used to be perfect! I tricked myself to give this a chance, that maybe if I tried to look at his eyes again, deeply, I would once again see his soul and look beyond what he hasn’t done. I tricked myself to see him smile more, allow him to make me smile again, that I may see how much he’s willing to give and to prove to myself that I can be loved and not failed.

This trick could work for sometime and if it does, then maybe he and I are bound to trick each other for the rest of our lives until we discover that love has already executed its strategies and has won over us. ❤️

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The Prize

You look at me
priceless yet expensive
rare and casual,
extraordinary
I think of you
extravagant yet mediocre
thrift at things necessary
explosive on things of beauty
It’s Christmas time soon
This house you’ve built will boom
with ornaments and decors
where you’ve spent all your money
Again, think of me
small, breakable, a unique heart beat
I couldn’t catch my breath
but you made me
I think of you
fading not yet seeing
the prize is love and not materiality

Writing 101, Day Ten: Happy Sweetness Day!

Today’s Prompt: Tell us something about your favorite childhood meal — the one that was always a treat, that meant “celebration,” or that comforted you and has deep roots in your memory.

Oh, yes! Papa has finally decided that we make a flan! Flan is my favorite dessert. In fact, I don’t consider it as a dessert but a snack. I always question why do they have to serve it in very small sizes? Today, papa bought this circular aluminum. He told us that’s what we will use to shape the flan that we were going to make! This is great! This is the best thing that’s ever happened! We’re making a home made flan in a big serving!! Aaah, this is so much heaven! I don’t even care who’s going to make it or if they fry it or bake it or whatever, I just want to eat it now, now, now!! When I eat it, it lands softly in my tongue and I follow it up with the caramel sauce. It is never complete without the sugary sauce that comes with it. Flan is love! ❤

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Writing 101, Day Nine: The Red Sweater

Today’s Prompt: A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene.

She had a light complexion, a smile so warm I’d want to be wrapped around her arms again. Just like my mom, yes, just like how she smiled at me when I came home from a loss in a basketball game. She’d drop her chores, set the stove on low fire, wipe her hands on her apron, meet me at the entrance of our hallway and give me a big, warm hug. During winters, she’d sit by the fire and do the what she loves to do. I’d come home to a dim-lit living room with green and reds hanging around corners and a glittery decoration which says “Merry Christmas”. She’d craft something beautiful with the use of her hands. I could tell she was never bored. That night, she finished knitting a red sweater for me. She handed it to me and said it might be her last Christmas present. I told her that she shouldn’t be saying those things. She was still strong, happy, a warm sunshine in our home. I’m not sure how she’d look like now. But, I’m so happy that she’d left me with the best memories and looking at that lady on the bench, I picture she’s just around the corner continuing to love and look after me.

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Writing 101, Day Eight: The Adverb is Not Your Friend

Pretty late but here goes…

For this task assignment, we were supposed to go to a cafe and observe a person then write about him or her, focusing on minor details, eliminating adverbs. I did not have the chance to go to a cafe, recently, so mine is just from my imagination.

He took her hand like a mother inviting her child for a walk

But both of her eyebrows met and she had a face slightly better than a person who just ate a piece of lemon

With strength, she shook her hand like getting rid of a gecko on her arms

They didn’t share a cup of coffee today

Writing 101, Day Seven: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I think you should stay. You have free lodging, a really big house with pets and a cute nephew.

Definitely, you should leave! You are financially capable of sustaining your needs. You have a great online job. It’s paying you real money! You should just know how to manage it.

If you leave, you have to pay for your internet connection on your own,rent, bills! You can’t share it with your sister or call your father if your sister doesn’t pay the internet on time.

You should leave and go get the freedom that you’ve always wanted! The freedom to go anywhere- the beach! You love the beach right? And the waterfalls and travelling long distances.

You should stay, or else pay for tuition!

You can still ask for your parents’ support even if you’re away. What’s the use of technology?

If you leave, you will never have the chance to improve your communication with your parents. Do you want that?

You should leave, you can just call them or skype them or visit them!

You should stay. How much do you have in the bank? 5 digits? Girl, that will zero out if you leave the nest now!

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